“This is a project where everybody wins: the villages will get power, the cliffs won’t be damaged and it will be a work of art.”- Hiro Yamagata
Sometimes, I wake up with a sense of urgency, and I immediately pull for my phone.
The world is happening.
I see something pretty: a elderly woman in orange chiffon against a bright red rose bush, and I pull again. On the subway home from a gathering last night, a sea of people pour in from the game, just letting out. I go to pull, but I pause.
I spent half my life on the soccer field, phoneless, nothing to pull. Just me and my objective. To win.
Inside that idea of winning, there are core athletic values regarding character, endurance, and sportsmanship. Somewhere, along the line, however, in our careers, we are told these values do not matter if we want to get ahead in the world. We will have to to accept poor social behavior in the name of authority. I’m so tired of this. Charlie Sheen, I am tired of your idea of winning.
The man at the party will tell you it’s reality. He will order you a drink and stand with good posture, entertaining two of your ideas, until it’s time for him to retire to other, more powerful folks. He will be looking to eat. You will have no appetite. You are not going to sleep with him.
You will think: I want to get back to that place. The field. The village with power. The undamaged cliffs.
I want to watch eggs sweat while I drink my coffee with the backdoor open, writing and painting leisurely for fun. I want to throw my phone out the window.
I want the project to be over.
Revising Loneliness 